


A little longer than not enough time.

by rose_maja



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Anorexia, Ballet, Bulimia, Death, Eating Disorder, F/F, Mental Illness, Not Happy, Sadstuck, not poetic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-27
Updated: 2016-06-27
Packaged: 2018-07-18 16:46:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7323004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rose_maja/pseuds/rose_maja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rose Lalonde always feared she would not amount to much, only to truly amount to less than that. Please take heed because this shows the effects of abuse and lack of Cheetos</p><p>****<br/>This is a non suburb sadstuck that features eating disorders and triggering topics. I do not think eating disorders are romantic or glamorous if you suffer from one seek help. But regardless enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A little longer than not enough time.

Rose knew that she in the eyes of what her peers called successful, she fell short. It was well know that she could spin symphonies from her head as easily and and seamlessly as a dancer preforms the art she has tirelessly trained for. But ask Lalonde to act out the tasks guaranteed to gift her a life of fulfilment, you would be asking her to fail. Ever since her youngest years she had fallen short of her goals.

Age 6 she attempted violin a truly unique instrument her mother assures her.

Age 7 she sobbed as her calloused fingertips butchers the harmonies she tirelessly trained to replicate.

Age 8 Rose under the guidance of her mother began to dance, the trade of only the most graceful of women.

Age 10 she stood stage right, watching as people she would never call friends effortlessly contorted their slender bodies to the time perfectly.

Age 12 was when she was made aware that her intelligence that had been her only source of pride, was now dull in comparison to the children she called peers who shamed her at every failure.

Age 15 Rose spent 3 hours stood catatonic in the mirror pondering the possibilities of herself, only to after much deliberation conclude she would infact be perhaps something 10 pounds lighter. 

And so her menial task began, the only way she knew how to do anything. With help. Near desperate she scouted the advice of a classmate Vriska Serket, a razor thin and sharp witted girl who's looks alone shone her secret to all those around her. But perhaps Rose thought that was the point. The conversation itself took less than ten minutes in the auditorium bathroom, however she had felt like possibly her whole life had been leading to that moment. So informed finally Rose thought that perhaps now she had the tools to gain something, anything from the world around her.

Weeks later and 14 lbs lighter, her conscious felt all the heavier still. The progress she had achieved was slow and underwhelming. Her diet of 1200 calories a day coupled with a good hours exercise was non effective in the eyes of a suddenly hooked addict. Never before had her efforts been so categorically notable, and she would be damned to hell if she wasted such a wonderful opportunity. 

Roses diary spoke all the words she never could utter, perchance she would provide incriminating evidence against her case. The diary was filled to brim with statistics, carefully mapping her progress from her 5'9 145 start to her 120 midpoint. And at that crucial point she knew, shed rather die than end the race half way. Her progress sliced in half like a leviathans pale bodice breaking the water in their wake. 

When finally Rose neared her endpoint she found no need to stop. At 96 she was weightless, effortlessly afloat. Success was hers only if she continued. However continuation was a possibility to those with a will larger than their capacity. And at that moment Roses only capability was to lie shallow breath forcing her rib cage to inflate. Her head lay nested in the lap of her lover Kanaya Maryam, whos name was etched into her diary in a brilliant jade ink, right next to the number 113.

Proof to some that at thinner she would amount to something, and in that moment Rose wished perhaps her something had lasted longer than 17 pounds 3 weeks and not enough time.


End file.
